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The New Dithers Party

I think we should all take the time to celebrate this new same sex union of MP's in our Parliament. Everyone, I am proud to introduce to you, this fine couple...Jack and Paul Dithers! Not only have they created a civil union, they are also amalgamating their parties and it is to be called The New Dithers Party. Now that they are together, they can now share the same goal: dithering.

You see, this marriage works out great. Jack Dithers can now dither on his views of what is and what isn't corruption so that he can further his socialist agenda, and Paul Dithers can dither on his fiscal principles so he can clamor to power. And since Paul Dithers realized that selling out to a socialist agenda is necessary in order to retain power, this relationship looks like a match made in heaven.

We all knew this was going to happen. I mean sure Jack has said some mean things to Martin but that’s what relationships are all about. Even though Jack Dithers said that the Liberal party has 'almost' lost its moral authority to govern, he never said that it actually had. After all, socialistic principles are far more important then punishing a corrupt party for its past, naughty, and perhaps even criminal actions.

But what about 'wallflower' Harper? Wasn’t Jack Dithers about to begin and 'alliance' with Harper? As of last week, it looked like Harper and Jack Dithers were going to vote non-confidence in Martin and send the country to the polls? Some say opposites attract so it wasn’t that unrealistic. But you have to wonder how Harper is taking this rejection. Although he acted like he didn't care he did seem to scoff at the new couple saying that "if [Martin] and [Jack] are going to make a deal, they are going to make a deal" and that there was "nothing" he could do about it.

But perhaps Jack Dithers got frustrated with Harper and his 'frigid' party? Perhaps he knew in the long term that Harper wouldn't 'put out' enough concessions to the NDP? Maybe when Jack saw Paul Dithers 'bend over' so easily for all of the Atlantic premiers over the Atlantic accord, he figured that he would have a better chance of 'gettin some' power if he created a long term relationship. And hey even better for Paul, Jack likes to share! He even wants Martin to put out for his Liberal cousin...Dalton Mcguinty!

M.K. Braaten
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4/25/2005 12:46:00 PM

Haha, that is great satire!    

4/25/2005 06:38:00 PM

Well, seems that the story of Mouseland is so true, so true.

It's the story of a place called Mouseland. Mouseland was a place where all the little mice lived and played, were born and died. And they lived much the same as you and I do.

They even had a Parliament. And every four years they had an election. Used to walk to the polls and cast their ballots. Some of them even got a ride to the polls. And got a ride for the next four years afterwards too. Just like you and me. And every time on election day all the little mice used to go to the ballot box and they used to elect a government. A government made up of big, fat, black cats.

Now if you think it strange that mice should elect a government made up of cats, you just look at the history of Canada for last 90 years and maybe you'll see that they weren't any stupider than we are.

Now I'm not saying anything against the cats. They were nice fellows. They conducted their government with dignity. They passed good laws--that is, laws that were good for cats. But the laws that were good for cats weren't very good for mice. One of the laws said that mouseholes had to be big enough so a cat could get his paw in. Another law said that mice could only travel at certain speeds--so that a cat could get his breakfast without too much effort.

All the laws were good laws. For cats. But, oh, they were hard on the mice. And life was getting harder and harder. And when the mice couldn't put up with it any more, they decided something had to be done about it. So they went en masse to the polls. They voted the black cats out. They put in the white cats.

Now the white cats had put up a terrific campaign. They said: "All that Mouseland needs is more vision." They said:"The trouble with Mouseland is those round mouseholes we got. If you put us in we'll establish square mouseholes." And they did. And the square mouseholes were twice as big as the round mouseholes, and now the cat could get both his paws in. And life was tougher than ever.

And when they couldn't take that anymore, they voted the white cats out and put the black ones in again. Then they went back to the white cats. Then to the black cats. They even tried half black cats and half white cats. And they called that coalition. They even got one government made up of cats with spots on them: they were cats that tried to make a noise like a mouse but ate like a cat.

You see, my friends, the trouble wasn't with the colour of the cat. The trouble was that they were cats. And because they were cats, they naturally looked after cats instead of mice.

Presently there came along one little mouse who had an idea. My friends, watch out for the little fellow with an idea. And he said to the other mice, "Look fellows, why do we keep on electing a government made up of cats? Why don't we elect a government made up of mice?" "Oh," they said, "he's a Bolshevik. Lock him up!" So they put him in jail.

But I want to remind you: that you can lock up a mouse or a man but you can't lock up an idea.    

4/25/2005 09:10:00 PM

I used to think that if Canadians got mad enough, out would go the Liberals. Now I'm not so sure.
What does it take to make a Canadian mad? Theft? Corruption? Greed? Maybe if those three things combined could make Canadians mad then, out would go the Liberals. Unless of course, the PM says he is sorry, then the Liberals stay in. Why are we such a forgiving bunch? Have the Liberals discovered the secret of governing forever, that is, take us for all we have and, when caught, say "I'm Sorry" and throw a little of our own money back at us and carry on?
It works, doesn't it? So , just to enforce that tactic, they also throw in a little fear. That works,too. And Canadians keep on forgiving and, even worse, forgetting.
What a sick Nation we truly are. WE can no longer stand up for ourselves because we don't have any courage left. We have been bought off with our own money(and small amounts of it, too)
We deserve Paul Martin, Jack Layton and the new coalition that will continue to screw us.    

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